daily happenings and a dream to spark the post.

finally got my errands complete. and i'm caught up with the minor assignments i've had so far...though i still duno about the thesis topic i chose..but i guess a have a couple days to think about it. i guess the high TSH might explain why i'm tired all the time. but i think not... :P

i wish we could hang out a bit today...but i suppose even if we won't admit it, the quota does get filled eventually and so, time apart is necessary. even if i dont' want to admit it. that, i've learned, no matter how nice we (like to) try to be or how nice we think we are.

funny how, i really have more money in my account than i've really ever had during a school year..and yet i think i'm still strained for money..heh. there goes paying for your own school bill.

and already events and appointments are scheduled.

but i'm doing okay on the monitering my meal points. and spending money- err..kinda. heh. typical, idiot human.

anyways, one note i wanted to make this morning that i forgot. i had a dream last night..and one of those good ones where i feel like he loves me. where he basically tells me..

in my dream a golden eagle made it's nest from sticks in a giant tree outside my back yard (which was full of these grand trees you'd only find in a great forest...) i could feel it's fear as it built its nest in a hurry to have a safe haven from the beasts. but suddenly i wanted to be in the nest, and the eagle agreed. i ignored it's anxiousness, though i could feel it. and suddenly, the beasts attacked. the eagle was overcome, and i, with several other humans swung around the trees and avoided being attacked. and a voice said something about us being able to, we had the skill, if we could just concentrate and know our resources..or something like that. though i'm sure it was prettier in language in my dream..

but then i went back into my house...and i got an email, from you saying that you were happy to hear that i loved you and you had just been afraid of falling in love again. but you had. and for some reason you were counting numbers...i think maybe 4? duno...and the something about
wanting to give me a purple flower when you heard that i still loved you...and i suddenly pictured
the scene of the eagle picking through them to find the right one...but then too many fell and
he couldn't..and i guess that was the end of the dream and i woke.

duno what it means. it's quite an emotional strain to be having these dreams...and even though i know he doesn't feel that way about me, i guess i'll always love him. because, true, i was happy to read that email in my dream...

so i wonder what it means? what did it symbolize, what was the meaning, what was the purpose? of the flowers, the beasts, the golden eagel, the stick, the backyard, the numbers?

...or maybe it means nothing at all.