Again when I should be sleeping..

Wow...blogging twice in one day. I think that's a record.

All these thoughts of you...make me think I should continue with the story...but then there's always an excuse not to. Though I do want to get it done...soon...

As the days pass, I become more and more hesitant on whether I should do it or not. But then, I ask...what's left after that?

Maybe he is right. Maybe I am dramatic. Heh..of course I am. I think that's the female stereotype, after all..isn't it?

So why do we want the drama? Why do we love it so much?

I cannot say for everyone but...at least for me...maybe it's because, no one has shown any real interest in me...and to this day I question if I can't believe in what we had...if what we had turned out to be nothing at all..then what Can I believe in?

And thinking that becomes painful.

Empty.

Worthless.

I search for an answer to the question "Why?"

And when I don't find one...I suppose then, subconsciously, I make excuses...and create a reason.

Even if I'm changed. Even if I'm damaged.

But then I can say, I have found a reason.

To explain why I've been turned away. Rejected. Let down. Betrayed. Left behind. Replaced. And maybe even forgotten.

Is it worth it?

No.

But I've been reaching out for something to hold onto....only to find everything slip away...

This is the only thing that has always been there...