unanswered question

After watching Koizora, his behavior was a lot like yours. And I also want to know. Why? Why are you acting so indifferent to me? Why are you avoiding me. You could see me if you wanted to. You could call me if you wanted to. It can't be just because I ask questions you can't answer, right?

I'm wonder if I'll regret giving up. If that life will pass by without ever seeing you again, and then me finding out we could have worked it out, but then having it really be too late. I can't imagine anything worse. I suppose that in love, we're always afraid of losing that person.

I suppose it really be up to fate if we meet again. I wonder if I'll ever be ready to see you. I wonder if you're scared too. I don't know how I'd act if I saw you. I don't know whether I would cry or smile or be barely able to even breathe. I wonder how you'd act too. I wonder if you'd already be settled down, or still free-floating. I wonder if I'd still be beautiful to you.

I can't be selfish and force you to choose either her or give me another chance. That, I know, isn't the answer either.

Still, the lyrics to this song really match what I feel. It's cold and dark outside and I'm tired of walking. I really wish you were beside me. Just to have your presence here would be wonderful. I want to believe that.

I wish I had been able to have a last kiss with you. I don't even remember if we hugged one last time. Maybe it was better though that we didn't act like it was a final good-bye. Maybe it was best that's how we remember each other. With words and a smile that said we'd meet again sometime soon.

I wonder if I'll continue to love you without thinking about it. I'd like to believe there's something special about a first love. I wonder why I'd still have these feelings, why I can't help but believe in them. Maybe I'm just disillusion.

I know I'm not very strong on my own. But I also believe that of course I could be happy with someone else. Even share a very peaceful or exciting love. If only I were to be so lucky as to have love find me. I wonder if I'd forget about you then, and these feelings would finally go away. I wonder if that's what I really want after all.