It's Been A While...

...and the semester is coming to a close. What have I learned? That I can't seem to be good at anything I've tried, guitar is Physically painful, I hated all of my drawings, psychology was just a pain, comp sci was hell, and creative writing..well...I'm terrified to ever show anyone another story again

...and I've realized that I haven't really changed.

I still don't believe in true love.

I'm still easily hurt..and don't always say so.

I still have stupid hopes.

I still have faith in people when I shouldn't.

And lack faith in them when I should simply be grateful when they genuinely care about me.

I don't know how I manage to find the strength to keep going every day...

because I feel like I fail so hard, every time...

I'm still hoping I get that job in Japan, even though, for the first time today, the idea actually terrified me.

I've been trying to learn and record this new song...but I've barely had time to do my homework, so I've been unable to make the final track. Soon though, hopefully.

The snow was beautiful the other night, in the orange glow of the street lamps. And as annoying as it was, trying to get to sleep, it made me smile, to see college kids happy at the sight.

I wish you had been here. We would've had fun, I bet.

But only in my dreams, I guess.

And dammit, it's so cold, I feel like bits of me will snap off and crumble away...

and I feel so empty...