day 5 part 2

Just a few notes, because I am very tired and will go to sleep very soon.

I find it interesting that, of and on, I like to watch or read love stories. Though I'm too tired to really go into depth as to why that might be. Maybe another time.

Was also thinking about animals...and them appearing in my dreams. Especially wolves, either where they're chasing me, trying to get into my house, attacking me, becoming a great companion or (more recently) where I'm subduing them. I guess I could understand why I might be a wolf person, but there's a lot about me that isn't very wolf-ish at all. Who knows. I'm clueless as of yet.

I wonder if I could fall in love with you. I'm sure it'd be easy to do...but I know now that I could get hurt easily. And even if I did, I know it wouldn't be the same. I know you could love me very well...but from the first time I talked to you, I could tell that something was missing. And it probably always will, no matter how close we become. But suppose that's okay...

I've been thinking a lot about you lately. On How It's Made, they showed people making stuff by hand, and I thought of you. How much I loved that about you...and now, everything's starting to remind me of you again... :( Every day that we don't speak, I feel colder and emptier inside, no matter how cheerful or warm I may seem on the outside...

I wish I could see you again...or even better...you would come see me...but after all, if it happens, it'll have to be fate. Because neither of us had...or have enough faith to see it through. If there Is anything at all...

"Oh I miss you now, my love...Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas...my love."

Oyasumi...