Day 4? I think

Already it seems I'm not doing so well at keeping up this blog. Between chatting with Chuu-chan, and my new netflix subscription, it seems I keep forgetting. But I will try harder! I'm also excited about going to see Chuu-chan. Even if we're not technically together, I'm sure it will be fun- although I really wanted to go on the beach. Oh well..maybe another time.

What unexpected support from the one world girls. Unfortunately all I hear is "JET, JET, JET..." and it only reminds me that I failed... :(

I hope that I get that job in Japan even if it's not with a company nearly as good or trustworthy as JET. I really don't mind. I really just want to get there....I'm eager and I can't contain it. I want to see what I'm capable of, and I want to start my adventure. I'm nervous and terribly scared, but I so want to go anyways.

So I guess I need a different code-name for the other one. D-kun will work I suppose. I chatted with him for a little bit. I don't really know what I'm supposed to feel for either one. But it seems he really doesn't want to see me after all. He says he will...but he doesn't seem to express that desire really.

I wonder if I'll always be saying this.

"Do you know the person who had to let you go, as they clutched their heart? That person is me. We had loved each other, but we're separating now. Although we're under the same sky at different places, please do not forget me."

You say that you still care about me...but all I can hear in my own head is "嘘ばかり。。。”

If he doesn't love me, then i shouldn't be putting so much effort into, right?

I still have that dream of becoming a j-pop star...but then I wonder if it's really possible. I haven't even gotten a chance to record for fear of being yelled at for being loud. I might try the barn...and I still know that even if I want to sing..if I don't feel it in my heart, then it's no good...

Well, at least it's cooler down here, even if that means being around people...guess I'll see what I can find to eat...