Ugh..Dreams

Maybe A Place to Return To is just a place I only want to go to when I feel this way. Distressed, upset, frustrated, lonely...

I had a dream last night. It was about a painting and poem I did and shared with the class only to have it criticized..and when I couldn't take it anymore, so racked with tears and despair the teacher shouted at me over and over again "What's wrong with you?" Like a parent berating his chid...

But then something lovely happened. I found a miniature kind of phoenix looking bird. It looked like the decorative version I bought once. It was fluffy and too cute, and I fed it an apple I found. And then I found myself surrounded by friends. It was just..too sweet.

I'd been thinking about what to do with you..and just, I don't know. I don't know if that's why I don't want to see anyone today, or if it's being physically sore from too much exertion. I've been tired and sick after hanging out with people so far..Maybe I just want a real break. Not see anyone, just be in my dorm alone...Maybe work on my dress..and I think I'd want her there.

I feel like I've been disappointed this break, granted, though that I know I'm one to try and want to only do things I want to do, but having a hard time declining the wishes of others, especially when they're my friends...

I guess I am just selfish after all..Like in my dream, I do like friends..but maybe I just need some time to by myself, even if it's really...lonely...